I know a lot of people who are polyAm just don't like labels altogether, but I've been putting some thought into this. I've been seeing a guy for the past couple of weeks and I do like him. I've been holding back a little more than he has, mostly because I'm just getting out of something really serious where my heart was broken, but don't want to punish this poor guy just because of my ex.

He asked me today if I'd be his girlfriend. He's married, I'm married. I've had a boyfriend before, but only have casual connections as of now. I do have romantic feelings toward this dude and can see myself with him for a while. My response to him was to ask him what that label meant to him. I want to make sure we are on the same page before moving forward. For my ex-boyfriend and I it was just natural. We just slid into the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. There really wasn't a question.

So I'm just wondering... what does it mean to you? When does something change from being causal to being more? And what does that look like? What defines it for you in your polycules? I realize it could be different for everybody and it needs to be a shared definition between two people, but I'm curious what the community thinks.