I’ve felt for a long time my primary partner and I have had a very turbulent relationship. It took many years, but I was finally introduced to attachment theory. I read “Attached”, and figured that I’m anxious, and my primary is avoidant. Just started reading “Polysecure” and realized she is actually fearful/avoidant. This has me re-examining our entire, almost decade long relationship.

She has major anger issues, very little self-control, and self medicates with alcohol and vape pens(not saying either are bad, but the amount and crossing is abusive)

This may be an odd question for here, but I’m curious if anyone has any insight on something kinda specific. I google it and came up empty…

Do some people have psychopathic tendencies toward most people but are very empathetic toward animals, children, and the elderly? I feel like my partner is loving and helpful towards anyone or any animal who is vulnerable, but if you’re a normal person in you’re prime, then the nice gloves come off and anything goes.

I feel like I’m treated like a tool for her. Like, if she has a rough day or isn’t feeling well, then I don’t matter. My time and energy are for her to use however she sees fit. It’s almost like she is either extremely selfish, or assumes I have a much higher tolerance for tough times than she does, so she feel like she can do whatever she wants without consequences.

It hurts. I hate it. Please help