TLDR; I'm new and ignorant skip to the bottom if you don't care about my reasons or history and just want to answer questions.

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I am new to polyamory and my knowledge of all things non-monogamy comes from lurking in various reddit forums and a few books I have seen recommended. My wife and I recently opened our marriage and I have a lot of work to do before I'm ready to start dating again. Much of it is work I should have done in high school to be honest.

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I know most of you have little interest in personal history but I want to get this out of the way so that there is no doubt why a grown man has such ignorant questions. I was raised Mormon, for those who do not know it is a very sexually repressive Christian religion which meets the definition of a cult perfectly. I never dated but rather grew up socializing with other members of that church and eventually went on a mission. When I came home I did what I was told was the correct thing and married a girl who was looking for a returned missionary to marry. I got lucky. We are for the most part compatible. We also agreed after far too long that leaving the church and opening our marriage was the best course of action for both of us. Many are less compatible than ourselves and without a large social group enforcing their miserable marriages immediately file for divorce when the leave the church. That kind of thing should be relegated to the exmormon sub though. I'm here to talk about dating as a married man. Specifically learning how to date in an open relationship.

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There is a difference between unintelligent and ignorant. I fall into the latter category. I know there are an awful lot of definitions and fluidity in polyamory but it helps when searching for information to know the correct terminology. I want to start slow. Make a few friends that are already in open relationships who can give me pointers and guide me in the best directions and help me find places where people in open relationships meet.

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I also have a lot of personal work to do. Working a desk job for years has not done good things to my body. I'm currently just under 200lbs and only 5'6" healthy weight for me is 150lbs.I've been dieting since the pandemic forced a change in employment and have recently taken up swimming daily as a method of getting back in shape. I hope to be back to my high school weight by Christmas and attractive enough to justify posting some pics. Right now I am not in any shape to be dating physically. I also need to learn to flirt. Seriously I only recently picked up from a post in the r/adultery sub that I should be making and holding better eye contact to let women know I'm available. It has seriously never crossed my mind before. I'm a natural introvert and fairly introspective. I pay close attention to my own emotions and how they effect me as well as those around me but I've never really gotten good at understanding body language. Does anyone have any suggestions in this regard? I'm not asking for pickup artist crap but actual pointers on how people communicate nonverbally.

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I have some time before I start really taking dating seriously as I have at least 6 months of daily workouts and some serious reading to do. My current way of thinking is that I need to find someone who I can be FWB with but not aim for a deep romantic connection right away. I've intentionally made little mention of my wife in all of this but I have every intention of having two different kinds of relationship not connected to each other. Opening lines of communication as well as setting boundaries will of course be some of the first things I talk about when I find this currently theoretical FWB.

Now that I've made it clear where I'm coming from I have a few questions.

1. Where/How can I make friends who are polyamorous? (friends not lovers or FWBs for the time being)
2. How can I go about learning to flirt? (I know it sounds juvenile)
3. Having only ever been with 1 woman should I get tested so I can show negative results when I do start dating seriously?
4. What search terms should I use when searching for open/poly friends who I do not want to start a romantic relationship within r4r subs and in other places?
5. What search terms should I use when searching for open/poly FWBs who I really want to keep as friends and not deep romantic connections?
6. Do I sound like a crazy person and should I delete this before too many people read it?