Hey all,

My fiancé and I opened up our relationship about two years ago, though we too all of 2020 off from seeing other people due to obvious reasons. We largely have moved and met people through the context of Swinging, including a visit to a club and what sites we use to meet people.

The one couple we still see occasionally are polyamorous. We don’t presently identify as poly ourselves, but we really like having a strong friendship-type relationship with them that includes sex as well. That’s the sort of relationships we want to build with more people.

From my perspective, I believe strongly that intimacy, sex, and emotional connection can exist in what I would still define as a friendship, as opposed to a romantic relationship, and so I haven’t felt comfortable representing myself as poly. I don’t want another girlfriend, per se; We like the life we have going as a pair. I just think I can love my friends without placing arbitrary barriers of what society says is inappropriate levels of intimacy with them.

Swinging, however, tends to de-emphasize emotional connections in general. I’ve been trying to do lots of research, and both swingers and polyamorists agree there’s a big spectrum and overlap, but I’ve had a lot of difficulty finding resources or terminology for people like us who want to largely remain in a paired couple for our romantic relationship but want to share love, intimacy, and physicality with friends too. Can anyone offer some advice or links for people like us?