Hello everyone! So I have posted in r/polyadvice about coming to terms with being a secondary partner. However, that term is something I am not satisfied with, and wondered if there was a thing as a co-primary. Lo and behold, a little googling and there it was! I have communicated this to my partner and metamour (she is up visiting him right now), and am just waiting for their response.

I’m wondering if there are people who have successful co-primary relationships, as I want to gain insight on what it is like for you and your partners!

Context: We are in a V-polycule, i am only seeing him, and she is only seeing him too. Me and Metamour have an open line of communication but have not met irl yet. That was ok at first but then things started to shift towards her favour and he wasn’t being so open and honest about it to me. She saw the inconsistencies and informed me about them, and recently they had come to the conclusion that they will be primary partners and I will be a secondary, which has triggered a very negative response in me. I believe that I am definitely not a secondary as when he is not with her, he is with me, and time is equitably split between us. We also have a Dominant/submissive relationship/dynamic that he does not have with her aside from the deep love, affection, and friendship that we share.