I get the whole 'there isn't a RIGHT way to do poly', but is there a "standard" or "ideal"? A basic guideline or objective truth that separates Polyamory from other expressions of Ethical Non Monogamy? I did put this under curious/learning intentionally, I thought maybe musing, but I am genuinely interested in hearing from those who are doing it a little differently. I have been reading numerous posts lately, here and on other social media sites, that made me question whether I understand it incorrectly and I am being elitist because what is described doesn't fit my experience. There are daily offerings of "My wife/husband told me they are polyamourous and want to date other people ...." and "We are a Polyamourous couple who want to open our relationship ...." all looking for advice: how to deal with jealousy, what are the rules, I have a crush on a coworker what do I do and, my favorites, "we opened our marriage last month and my wife (34F) has two partner's already but I (44M) can't find anyone to date, how do I tell her I don't want us to be Polyamourous anymore?" It seems that it would actually be helpful to put stricter definitions in place for Polyamory, that the "big tent" should be ENM and not the other way around? Is there an IDEAL in Polyamourous Relationships?

Edit: From the top of this SubReddit, "Polyamory is openly, honestly and consensually lovingly and being committed to more than one person ...." would you agree? Is this a good, or incomplete definition?