I met this girl few years ago but we only started dating a couple months ago, i’d like to describe myself as someone who’s monogamous and i’ve never had any curiosity in engaging in a poly relationship, i’d be lying if said few of the reasons aren’t caused by insecurities such as jealousy, fear of abandonment, and ending up being a second option, but to be completely honest the main reason why is because i genuinely cannot engage in a deep romantic relationship with more than just one person.

i have had a couple of experiences before where i was seeing multiple people at the same time which includes sexual relations, but never in my life i have actually loved someone so deeply while seeing other people because i genuinely cannot even consider another person when i’m in that state.

now after i described what type of person i am let me describe the situation i’m dealing with, this girl that i’m seeing right now is genuinely the best person i’ve met in a long time, we get a long so well we have an amazing communication together we have a lot of fun together she is genuinely everything i need, we get along in every aspect except on what kind of relationship should ours be, i know that by time passing by and with my feelings growing she’s going to be the only person i need on a romantic level and i wish i could be the same to her but it’s clear that’ll never be a thing.

now i don’t want to lose this person cause she’s a really special person to me so here i am asking for advice about this and even poly relationships in general, she said she hasn’t been seeing anybody since we saw each other and she’s not even looking on seeing anybody anytime soon but the reason why she wants a poly relationship cause she sees romance as communal and something that needs to be shared, we’ve had a long talk together multiple times but to narrow down her reasoning she basically doesn’t know what can happen in the future and exploring a poly relationship is something that she always wanted to do (i forgot to mention that she’s never been in a relationship with someone and i’m her first relationship)

i’m still unpacking all of this and i don’t know whether i’m willing to cooperate and engage it a polyamorous relationship or not that’s why i’m here asking for advice and guidance, i talked to a couple of friends about this one of them engages in polygamous relations too but i want to hear an advice from total strangers lol.

I’d like to also mention that she has been very patient and supportive and cooperative with me in this as she hasn’t put any pressure on me and she’s also willing to do what it takes to make this work too, i think that’s the main reason why it got me thinking that maybe i could learn about this and explore it a bit more cause i wouldn’t wanna do it with anybody else but her simply because of the way we communicate and the way love and care of each other. I am very fearful of the fact that if i choose to engage in an open relationship i might not love her like id love someone in a monogamous relationship in fear of getting more and more attached i would say? Idk im still learning about myself sorry if this is all over the place😭

What would you do in my place? How should i approach this? Is there anything that me and her should talk about such as boundaries or such? In case i choose to engage in an open relationship how can i learn to deal with the jealousy, fear of abandonment, fear of being a second option? Any advice/opinion you have i’m all ears! Thank you for reading :))