hi friends, long time lurker first time poster! i’ve been seeing the most wonderful girl since august, and it’s a bit of a comet situation. she lives about a 4 hour drive away, and since she doesn’t drive i work all the damn time we’ve only linked up in person 4ish times since we started talking. she has a fiancé who she lives with, and i have my own stuff going on here, so when we’re not together there’s a very low expectation of commitment. we just text and stay in touch and plan the next get together. and when we get together the whole world goes on hold. it’s like nothing else i’ve ever experienced, and learning the term “comet” made so emotional because YES THAT’S IT and she really does light up my sky like a comet when i see her!!!

anyway it’s been a few months and even though there’s not a high level of commitment and the time we spend together is so sporadic, i find myself wanting more and more when we text or talk on the phone to blurt out that i love her. in any other relationship this would feel like a reasonable point to start saying it if i really feel it, but since this relationship moves at an unusual pace it feels like i’m really jumping the gun. what if she doesn’t want to be loved by me? what if i say it and she doesn’t say it back? i realize that these are fears one would have about saying the L word in ANY relationship, but the sporadic time commitment really is the thing that makes me unsure if this pace is “normal.”

with the understanding that every life, experience, and love story is different, i would love to hear from folks in similar situations! thanks so much for your time!!!