I 25F recently ended a 4 year monogamish relationship, one of the primary reasons being my partner 30M felt like I didn’t lean into our relationship enough whereas I felt suffocated that I didn’t have enough time for hobbies and friends. Monogamish in the sense I was allowed to date other women as long as I’m still primarily attracted to him.

My previous LTR was also monogamish - my partner at the time had kinks that I wasn’t interested in (really wanted to be tied up, whereas I prefer being tied up than rigging) so I was fine with him playing with his rigger friend.

Now, I’m interested in polyamory where I’d still have a primary partner (to eventually live together, get married, have kids) but we’re both free to date others. What I’m hoping to get out is I’d have more freedom with my time, and be intimate with my primary partner more organically rather than feeling like dating them is a chore. And my partner can have their emotional and physical needs met by others when I’m unavailable.

I also tend to have blurry boundaries in my feelings for friends - in most of my close friendships, my feelings are not fully platonic, if I like someone enough to consider a good friend I’m also likely physically and/or emotionally attracted too. In the past I’ve had to shut these down, but would be nice to pursue these freely in a poly relationship.

I’m starting to talk to people on feeld and hinge, hitting it off with a few of them. I want to explore dating various people and explore different relationship dynamics before committing to a primary relationship, whatever that may look like.

Curious if anyone has approached polyamory for similar reasons as me and what their experience has been! My main concern is if I can’t meet the needs of 1 partner, I’d be even worse at fulfilling multiple partners…