Hi folks, I've been in poly relationships for about 10 years, and I'm 29. Part of why I love polyamory is that it gives me the freedom to let relationships be whatever they need to be. I can be physically affectionate with people I am not dating, and my partners both expect that and want that for me.

However, that doesn't mean I am good at platonic affection! I feel so awkward and clumsy when trying to initiate a cuddle with a friend, even when we have specifically agreed beforehand that we both want it. I feel guilty and ashamed, like some kind of sex pest, that they're going to assume I have secret sexual motives. I think I am projecting some of my own feelings, worrying that I do actually have secret sexual motives.

I'm really good at cuddling people who I have sexual relationships with! I have recieved many compliments about how comfy and cozy I am. I want to be able to share that with more people, because I love a good hug and a cuddle, and I love my friends. But I just can't seem to get past this psychological barrier that equals cuddling with sexual intimacy. So instead I am rigid, uncomfortable, and have low-initiative when I am in close physical contact with a friend. I tried to talk about this with a friend who had expressed interest in cuddling with me, and I am now worried that I have somehow made it worse, because they have not reached out to hang out with me since!

Anyways, I would love to hear about others' experiences with platonic intimacy, tips and tricks to ease the tension when getting close to people, or stories about how you overcame a similar struggle!