I want to keep this short. My partner has identified and practiced poly for many years and id say I’m more of a “non manogamous” I don’t want multiple partners but I like the ethical non manogamy of poly. Anyways that parts not as important.

I have been interested went in some dates and slept with maybe 2 peiole over the year my partner and I have decided to be in a commited partnership, and I always feel best if I casually talk about the person I’m interested in, like oh so and so and I where talking about this subject the other day or so and so and I are planning to to go to this event, and maybe sure he feels included and like it’s no secret. from my awareness I don’t think he has had any partners or dates other than platonic.

I noticed he would behave funny when one specific person text him, I don’t try to look at the screen or snoop but I find that with the notification my brain and muscle memory imediatly glance. I have noticed for 4 months probably that when (specific 3 letter name) pops up he will sorta in a panic kinda energy, flip his phone over, shut off the screen, or pocket his phone. He doesn’t do this with any other notifications. I do not know the girl that he is texting and I do not know their relationship so I try not to think too much into it. I also have had opportunities when I was on his ovine to text for him while he is driving and seen her message appear I always refrain from looking or snooping because I want to respect his privacy.

Then 4 days ago he mentioned he forgot that he was going to Pittsburg next week to visit old friends in his college area and that he forgot the dates and then recently saw them on his calendar and remebered. He mentioned he is gonna be visiting an old community house naming old friends including the name of the girl he has been texting…

My suspicion arises from, if you’ve been texting your old friend about your upcoming visit and all that, how did you forget to tell me you had a trip coming up…. Also if he and her are talking I can only imagen he would wanna hide his phone when texts appear if they have a fling or a crush that will be revisited or the potential…. Cause he has other female friends that he acts realy casual about.

He has mentioned that when he has other partners he usually picks them in different cities or when he is traveling for gigs etc because it eliminates some of the complexity of dating multiple people int he same social scenes in our city……

Idk how to approach this, I have been planning about just casually bring it to his attention that I have noticed this behavior but I am afraid I’m just overthinking and insecure. What are your thoughts?? Sorry if this is long