Hello!!

I’m looking for advice for one of my partners who has really been struggling with me dating a new person. I (25F) have been with my main partner (let’s call him Mango 24M) for two years. He introduced me to polyamory and honestly I have never felt more like myself now and never been happier. We’re both poly and are great at communicating with eachother when there’s someone else we’re interested in.

About 8 months ago I began a relationship with “Bread” (19M) who is monogamous. I’m actually his first relationship ever. Up until now he has always been fine with me being poly and has also been very understanding that my main partner is Mango and I love both my partners so so so much.

However whenever I talk about someone else I’m interested Bread gets very upset. We always try to talk it through but I have told him it makes me feel like he doesn’t accept me being poly, he promises he does though. About a month ago I started going on dates with this girl I’ve had a crush on for a while (“Apple” 23F) we work together as well so I do see her everytime I’m at work. Mango is super supportive and was texting me during my date stuff like “did you kiss her yet?” and sending me gay memes. Bread however is struggling. Before I see her I check in with him and ask how he feels about me seeing her and I asked how he felt about me kissing her for the first time and he said he was okay with it, but when I called him and told him that I did kiss her, he broke down crying.

He told me it’s not my fault and he’s just learning to get used to it, but even when I’m at work now he tells me he’s freaking out and spiraling. He asked if he could talk to Mango about advice on how to handle me seeing someone new, and Mango said he would talk to him if I wanted him to but I’m not sure if that’s the right move?

I really like this girl and it’s also my first time doing more than just drunk making out with a girl, so it also makes me feel validated as a bisexual women as well. I’m just super worried about Bread and scared that he really doesn’t accept me being polyamorous. He’s never had problems with me and Mango’s relationship so I don’t know why it’s harder for him with me and Apple

Any advice I could give to him on how to handle his girlfriend seeing new people??