KTP with two partners, a husband and a sweetheart. Right now they both only have me as a partner. Husband is actively dating but sweetheart is not.

Husband was dating a woman about a month ago that my sweetheart found attractive. Sweetheart asked me how I felt about it and I REALLY didn’t like it. Husband & girlfriend are broken up for reasons irrelevant to this question… but I’ve been stuck on this for awhile now.

I really dislike the idea of my partner being with my partner’s partner. It seems messy AF. Am I being a bad polyamorist?

I think I prefer for metas to stay platonic, but I’m worried that this is an unfair ask and is controlling of me to expect?

Thoughts? Words of wisdom to share? Please be nice I’m still learning my own boundaries and what is fair!