My boyfriend (40M) told me (32F) in late May/ early June that he just practices the theory behind polyamory. What does he mean by this? Context I'm monogamous (and so is he as he says). We have been dating for 6 months.

My understanding of polyamory is that you can choose to have multiple loving relationships (emotional/sexual) with consent from all involved. It also involves communicating, being honest, open-ness, respect, and individuality.

He explained it also as not having to constantly provide reassurance (the whole individuality part) to the other partner and respecting privacy (he had a previous poly partner relationship that was manipulative and controlling over his phone). I know he has been texting daily with this other woman (used to be one of my close friends but she stopped talking to me years ago) and he is always hiding the messages between them (will not check her messages around me or quickly hides it if he notices a message from her). This obviously makes me feel insecure, and to me, it feels like he is being dishonest with me (which contradicts the honesty and openness and communication part I feel).

He also likes to talk a lot about he's previous partners and his experience with them/remaining friends and even once dated an exes cousin based on the exes recommendation.

Obviously, there is a lot more to this, but it would mean writing a freaking novel, and if he ever found this reddit post, he would know I wrote it.

But, I'm starting to think I'm going crazy. He shows that he wants to be with me but at the same time he is also showing less affection towards me (not very intimate with me like before, which is probably just the progression of the relationship?) . He keeps mentioning a future with me, and we do have all these plans, but in the end, I feel like he is just contradicting what he has explained to me. So, I guess I'm asking forwhatt are the core principles behind polyamory (polyamory theory)?

Am I crazy for thinking like this?