I'm (39F) new to poly. I've been thinking about it for a while, rediscovering myself/ what I want in a relationship but also taking things slow. I don't want to hurt or mislead anyone. In addition, while I may be ok being poly, I'm not sure I wouldn't get jealous if my partner were, which I feel is a double standard. So I may have more digging to do but... I have recently started seeing someone who said he (36 M) was poly and always has been. I wasn't planning on going into this so soon, especially because I'm trying to figure things out for myself. I've been fully open with him about where I stand. We talked about what that looked like for him, etc. as well. Something we do quite often is video chat or call because we are long distance (4 hour drive). We either have fun, engaging conversations, and sometimes we are just quiet, doing our own thing, while on the phone together.
I know he is talking to one other woman that he is kindof dating as well. She knows about me, I know about her. But tonight I was on video chat with him, and he said he was texting her at the same time. I'm new to poly, and I don't assume there are any set 'rules' to follow, but is it normal to feel a little upset that while I'm talking with him he's also talking to her? Should I just tell him that it bothers me, and if he is busy talking to her and I call, he should just tell me he's not free, and call me back later?

I don't know if this is jealousy or not, but for comparison he tends to be in some chat rooms as well, and I can tell when he is distracted and that also bothers me when we're talking.

I think if we were just on the phone not saying anything, while doing our own thing, it would be different. But when we're actuality having a conversation? Am I overreacting? Is it ok to be jealous if that is even what this is?