I’m wondering what you fellow poly folks have established as boundaries for either yourself or your partners?

Do any of you guys in primary partnerships have first date boundaries past safe sex and testing?

I’m seeing examples such as:

• Partner A sends Partner B a text before and after the date with Partner C

• Partner A give Partner B a heads up when a date or hang out is scheduled

• No heads up for new dates is needed

• Partner A doesn’t bring up whether Partner A and Partner C had sex together or how frequently/how much/any other specifics

• OR Partner A does bring up whether sex was had with Partner C

• Is sex on a first date with a new partner on the table if there have been sexual issues within the primary partnership?

• Partner A tells Partner B how long a date is going to be and adheres to it

• Or, the length of the date is not to exceed x amount of time?

• Location of date - are Partner A and Partner C okay to have a first date at a coffee shop? At a high value dinner? At Partner A and B’s home? At Partner C’s home?

So what do you guys think? Which of these are controlling and which are reasonable boundaries? Or which just depend on the situation?

What other boundaries do you guys enforce?