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For those who aren’t practicing polyamory anymore, what has it taught you?
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Hi everyone. I’m just curious if others experiences. I was in a polyamorous relationship for about 6/7 years (together for 9). We are no longer together and I’ve been seeing someone for a little over two years. I’m not currently practicing polyamory, but I find myself applying a lot of the things I learned while I was in a polyamorous relationship. For those in a similar situation, what are some of your favorite takeaways from having a polyamorous relationship?

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So I have been poly for ~20 years or so and up until fairly recently I identified as poly. I'm definitely still not a monogamous person but I've definitely drifted away from the label of poly and I think I could see being happier in a more monogamous context.

My takeaways have been:

  • Communication is a constant, ongoing process that is vital to the health of any relationship, mono or poly.

  • Rupture is inevitable in every relationship. What matters is repair and how that's handled.

  • Compersion is a critical skill for relationship success, be it mono or poly.

  • Loving or at least accepting yourself is foundational to the idea of being healthy in a relationship.

  • Jealousy is an "alarm" emotion, letting you know there's a deeper problem that needs to be handled and investigated.

  • It's ok to not have one single person meet all of your needs.

  • It is not ok to forego needs that can't be met by that one person to sustain the relationship.

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9 months ago