Context: My wife is bisexual. She asked me to open the marriage again to have sex with women in 2020. We discussed our goals, boundaries, rules, etc. and I conducted research for a whole year before coming to an agreement. Later, she said she wanted to have more than sex but a relationship. We saw a poly-informed couples therapist (or at least, he was supposed to be). Our goals changed again. We went from triad/throuple orientated to a parallel poly model. While opening the marriage was not my idea. Changing our strategy was my idea based on my research. A triad is just unrealistic and the goal was for her to satisfy her desire to have a physical and emotional connection with a woman (or at least explore it) and I really wanted that for her. When we tried to open the marriage in our 20s (also to women only and at the time physical only) and she broke every rule and had sex with men. In fact, she probably did it before she asked me to open the marriage to women. We closed our marriage and worked on ourselves individually and as a couple. 20 years later and we have had a rock solid marriage....like rock solid. My attached type is secure.

Now on to the meat of the message. We opened our marriage again about a year ago. Again, at her request and again she asked specifically to date women. At the beginning of this year she started to have success. She has 2 girlfriends that have met the only condition that I have (a clean STD test) so she started to sleep with them. At first, I was happy for her (compersion) but she was also left unsatisfied. Like she would get a couple orgasms, but sex wasn't that good for her and she needed more. So after she would have sex with them, she would come home and HAVE to have sex with me to fill satisfied. This made me feel wanted or needed. I realized the day would come that she would come home completely satisfied. So I took emotional inventory and really believed I would bothered; maybe jealous or feeling that I'm not needed anymore.

Well that day was today. She finally had sex and was completely satisfied. She texted me and told me it was so good. She said she doesn't need me (in the sexual sense; she assured that she needs my love last week). What surprised me is that I am completely unfazed by her statement. I did not experience compersion. It's like I am apathetic or indifferent. I'm not excited or turned on or happy or angry or jealous or insecure.... nothing. I just don't care.

Is this a bad sign?