I am 8 days post DDay, and I’ve been kinda taking a break this week to process (and make sure my mental state wouldn’t disrupt my work). [27f, 28f DDay was 2 days before our 4th anniversary]

In my heart I still don’t know if I can leave her, but everyone else I’ve talked to (family, friends, strangers online) has repeatedly reiterated variations of “RUN!!”

The logical side of my brain knows this is the truth, but I don’t know if I can pull the trigger on something so life-altering if my heart is not in it. Have any of you gone through the process of leaving someone you still very much loved and didn’t want to leave? How did it go? How does that heal?

I can’t let her keep walking all over me regardless, but I don’t know how to earn my respect back or for her to earn her trust back if I stay. I don’t know if she’s even interested in that.

P.s. anyone who did the math may realize that our anniversary was in the middle of this, and can you BELIEVE this girl didn’t get me a gift?? Not even flowers or a card. I obviously didn’t go all out this year (had a lot more planned) but I still gave her the gift I had already purchased before I knee. I would have thought she’d want to make this one special…

P.p.s at this point not sure if advice or rant is more applicable, sorry mods!