I’ve been reconciled with my husband for 3.5 years now. It was hard the first year but we saw a good therapist the second year and he made a lot of progress in understanding what I was going through. I feel that we’re in a good place now and our relationship is completely different. But the only info I have on the affair is what I was able to put together. He never divulged any info. A few months ago I read Shirley Glass’s book and I felt that I wanted to know what really happened. I explained to him my neeed to not be in the outside of what he and his AP knew. He balked but eventually said he would be able to do so it one day. A few months have gone by since then and he hasn’t brought it up. So last night I said: remember what I wanted to talk about, i don’t t want to keep in bringing it up if it’s not goi g to happen and he said it’s not going to happen. And I’m just kind of sad bc he’s choosing to keep me in darkness, to have me know less then the AP about what actually happened. I know he just does not want to face it, but I was hoping that after 3 years of us working in our relationship he would choose openness over just turning away from it. I hate the fact that I’m always going to be the odd one out. P.s. here’s a link https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/CXV88CC39n to my initial post when I suspected he was cheating, that’s basically all I know 4 years later. We eventually separated for 6 months while I filed for divorce but we got back together when we had an internet scare with our you test son. Not sure what the point of this post is other than you say it’s hard when you are left out in the dark. I hope it will get better for me but I feel with my personality I’m just going to let that fester in my heart. I want to add that we are doing better in that we treat each other with respect now, I can approach him when something feels off and he doesn’t freak out, I feel like he understands the damage he caused and what he lost but at the same time he is still not willing to make that significant but painful step from fully stepping in to the truth. I don’t think he’s lying anymore, but he can’t bring himself to tell me the totality of what happened.