We are separated working on a divorce. My post history has more details. we just came to an agreement this past September and signed a divorce agreement but we’re still waiting for it to go through the courts to get finalized. In that agreement we agreed that we would not introduce anyone to the kids for at least six months after the divorce. Well, my kids just let me know that this past week and their dad had his new lady friend over to help him set up and decorate the Christmas tree together. I’m literally shaking right now. Mostly with rage but I also feel deeply depressed. I was getting to a better place with my mental health since the separation and divorce, and this just feels like a huge setback. I haven’t had anything close to a panic attack since our separation and now I feel like a giant ball of exposed nerves. I can’t stop shaking and it’s been hours since I found out. My six-year-old had just casually mentioned decorating the tree with AP and I just about lost my mind. It was all I could do to not lose my shit. I just stared at the ceiling and practiced my square breathing exercises, but then I started shaking uncontrollably and haven’t been able to stop. I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack.

I think what really pisses me off the most is that he didn’t give me any kind of heads up or try to do this in a way that wouldn’t be confusing to our kids. Our eight-year-old son is in therapy to deal with the divorce and the therapist has been trying to get my ex to agree to do a parent check-in session where we talk about how we’re going to address the questions the kids have about the divorce and our path forward. It’s been weeks since the therapist reached out but he won’t respond. Instead he introduces them AP.

It just really pisses me off because I’m the one who has to bite my tongue and swallow my pride, so we can have a good coparenting relationship while he continues to disrespect me. I really don’t get what his endgame is. AP is engaged to another man, and we have plans to both move to a new city at the end of this school year in June. So he’s sacrificing any kind of decent coparenting relationship, for what?

Only silver lining is that WH is digging himself so far down into a financial hole. Right now he’s over 50 K in debt on credit cards alone and he racked that all up since we separated in May. His credit score has dropped almost 200 points. I know he’s already drained all of his retirement accounts to try and stay on top of bills but is still 2 months behind on the electric bill. He has yet to pay me child support or reimburse me for any of our kids medical costs.

I wish I didn’t have to deal with him , and I never had to see his stupid face ever again.