We just had our mediation on the 15th and it was successful, or I guess semi-successful. We got an agreement where I can move so that's all that matters. I did have to give my ex our marital home and all the equity in it. I also had to agree to pay rent in the new location for him for 14 months so he can split his time between the cities. They are 2 hours apart. I also had to severely reduced his child support payment. He now pays less of a third than what is required. Whatever, I get to move closer to my support system and the kids will get to go to one of the best school districts in our state.

I now just have to navigate having a co-parenting relationship with someone that I absolutely hate. I know in time these strong feelings will fade and hopefully I will only feel apathy when I think about him. Right now though it's almost all consuming when I think about him or the fact that he's still in contact with the AP. I just feel like I will never be able to forgive him as long as he's in contact with her. It just feels like such a huge disrespect to me. He obviously doesn't care how I feel or me as a person in general so why should I care about him? It's not even a real relationship, she's someone he met on Ashley Madison and is currently cheating on her fiance with him. It just makes me so angry to think about. That he would sacrifice any kind of decent co-parenting relationship with me for her. I'm the one who is expected to grin and bare it, pretend like he's not tearing my heart apart.

We're keeping our communication very minimal and just about the kids but my ex just asked me if he could go trick or treating with me and the kids. (Halloween is on my day). I really don't want him there I cannot bear the thought of having to pretend like I can stand to be around him. I know I'll spend the whole night obsessing internally and wondering every time if he on his phone if he's messaging her. I just know if I deny him this it will be setting the tone and in the future if I want to try to join something that he's doing with the kids I will not be able to. I also know it would be good for the kids to see us getting along. I'm just so conflicted because the idea of having to be around him just sounds so miserable. At this point I would be more willing to not spend Halloween next year with the kids so I didn't have to spend Halloween this year with my ex, but then I feel like a terrible mom. How do you deal with having to co-parent with your WS?