Sorry long post. PLEASE READ ALL. High functioning autism and bad adhd and probably other stuff going on. Struggling emotional and need help. How do you solve very deep unresolved emotional trauma and attachment issues anxious and avoidant that keep effecting my actions and behaviors. I am very self absorbed and in my own world nut want to be happy. I was into sex big time in my 20s and 30s and looking to gind someone to fill a void. I have low self esteem and confidence in dating and just overall. I might be in burnout mode from work mostly and just life. I feel like shutting down and have no drive motivation. I just to have someone to get my needs met and do stuff with and avoid conflict or emotional stuff. I have a high standards on looks and probably how i feel about myself because of past strip club addiction and trying to get over the looks part of people if i not stimulated enough. my deep beliefs and and perception and past experiences greatly impact my decisions. I dont hardly talk or much to say because i have trouble processing and communicating on what i want to say and correctly. I feel like i dont care about anything anymore and dont put in effort very recently. I hate this feeling and just going through the motions. I just attach myself to someone or anyone no matter looks just to meet my needs and do stuff with. I asked myself to found someone thats into me big time and cant get her hands off me and wants sex all the time and accepts me who i am. I actually found that and everything was great in beginning after a struggle even though not attracted to her to my liking. But fits everything else. I actually found someone i can be myself with. But now i am very understimluated in everything including her and i am bored and nothing excites me but internally and inside somethings do and even show it when we are doing things together. I am not even interested in sex. She waa married to same guy for 23 yrs and went on match 1 yr after separating. She has no experience and no idea when do things and what

Before her i was in my self help crisis identity and purpose searching and trying to improve things. After finding her i stopped and just shutdown even though i still was looking but i was content

I might and probably lost my 4 month relationship last night. She is so so much into me. Thinks of me day in and out. I know what it feels like of being too needy. But actually i am same way We dont really have much in common. She says she dont feel wanted and needed because it comes across as i dont care and avoidant and not into her and not attracted to her. I want to be so badly but come across that way. I self sabatoged and my mouth got me into trouble and blurting out stuff saying yes since the beginning and told her all my past stuff and trying to tell her my adhd is worse then ever and my mental issues. I wish things were different in my past and how i view things. I told her i bored and not stimluated enough.I am disinterested in alot. I am aggravated why i am like this and feel this way. I should want sex all the time and be so into her. I settle and get comfortable and complacent where i dont put in effort. Seems like my mental effort is bad then ever. Please help. Thanks. Not on my meds. Waiting on test results. Any tips or whats going on?