My wife is a SAHM, and I work a white collar job that supports our family fairly comfortably. We have two boys, a just turned 2 and a just to be 4 year old, and 2 dogs. On Saturday's we do big family outings, and on Sunday's my wife takes our kids by self to a Christian church. She has complained to me that she never gets the house to herself in the same way I get the time she takes the kids to church by herself in the house.

There is some context here on my side, namely on Sunday afternoon's I tend to go to band practice in the afternoons, which probably averages to not being around for putting the kids down for a nap every other weekend. I also play in an adult hockey league that also implies I'm not around for dinner/to put the kids down on Sundays periodically, probably 1/3rd of the time as well. On the flip side, I am nothing but accomodating to activities my wife wants to do that implies I'm at home with the kids, and have promoted her doing more. She's joined a variety of church bible studies, a regional mother outing group, and training for a half marathon- admittedly some of the groups she's joined don't meet as regularly as mine do. Also, I've been willing to take the kids to Unitarian Universalist or other non-creedal churches or activities on Sunday as a family, but she's refused. She also doesn't just want to leave the boys with me on Sunday's because the cost of bringing them is low if she's already going.

At the same time, I basically do all the dog walking, and *do* take both kids with me on dog walks, probably on average at least once a week, and at least one of the kids on a dog walk with me every other time I WFH during lunch. Some nights the boys individually already have activities I am involved in, or because we only have one car, my wife's outings put restrictions on more than "take the boys to a park in walking distance of the house in Fall." To me her request amounts to me regularly taking the kids out when they're historically most delirious, after large play outings before their nap on weekends, or after dinner on weekdays, which really ends up being between 6:00 and 7:00pm before it's time to get them ready for bed. This is a style of outing she's never done herself, or seems inclined to reciprocate. I do this infrequently, probably a half dozen or so times over the summer and early fall, to take the kids to a park near us, and admittedly I can do this a bit more, but now we're under the crunch of daylight savings.

I am sympathetic for her wanting to have more her time, and if she wants privacy I'm fine with her leaving me alone at the house as required. I've tried to be accomodating by suggesting times that I can occasionally make plans with the boys by myself on weekends, but she doesn't want to. Am I really being unfair or a bad husband because I'm not taking both my kids out of the house at least once a week after dinner by myself?