My ex called me after three years of no communication. He was in a 2.5-year relationship, oddly enough, after we dated for 2 years. Took him only a few months. Around December or January, he had discovered that his perfect girlfriend was cheating on him for months...so he called me, and asked, "what am I doing wrong?" He had thought I too cheated on him, but not once, not ever, never did I even want to. Granted our relationship was not good, we fought a lot, but we also loved. Anyway, he called me. We talked for months, then we got intimate again. (NOTE: I had moved out of state after the breakup, for about 2 years before he called.) He had traveled with me back to where I live now, just to visit. It was good. He went back home, and we were still good. Then he flew out 2 months later to visit again, it was good, until it wasn't. Once he went back home again, we barely spoke on the phone. Where he would normally call me every day and multiple times a day, we now spoke every 3 days.

Things changed. He doesn't like arguing and I tend to argue. I tend to ask question and I asked many times, "what are we doing?" He said he could do long distance; I said it's a bad idea. We never established ground rules for it.

I work 12-hour shifts and go to school and pay for rent, bills, life.

He lives with his father, stays out most nights, up until 3,5,7 am in the morning and doesn't wake up until 1 or 3pm the next day.

We both have goals, but I wanted to establish "rules," like when to call each other, when to facetime, when we could spend time together even though we live 1,800 miles apart. When will we fly to one another? What to do during holidays? When will we decide to move in together? Will we save money for a home? What state will we live in?

But we never had these specific conversations. Then he had said he does not want ground rules, he just wants someone who gets him, who gets "it" and who understands who and how he is.

Which I had. I've explained to him time and time again that I am relentlessly in love with him, and I have proven that I accept him for who he is because we have fun, we laugh, we love.

Yet, that's not enough. Why am I not enough? Why isn't he willing to grow with me? Build a life with me?

Work together as a team. Together. Why am I not enough?