My father is turning 70. We were originally going to go on a trip for his birthday. That is no longer happening and we will be staying local.

In both circumstances, partner and I, my brothers, and their partners were invited. But my father requested that we not bring the kids ( I have a 4 year old son, 8 year old step son, and we care for my partner’s 15 year old cousin. Brothers have none )

I haven’t fully got into the why with him, but my sense is that he would like the experience to be relaxing and focused on him spending time with his adult children, and young kids tend to make everything about them.

While a little disappointed with the request, I respect my fathers wishes on his birthday. On all other occasions ( thanksgiving, Christmas, etc ) he is inclusive of everyone in the family.

The issue is that this pisses off my partner to no end. She calls him an asshole, and the discussion of potentially going without the kids will ruin her night. ( e.g. she just stormed off to bed )

Is my father’s request reasonable? ( edited ) Is my partner overreacting? Am I too accepting of my father’s selfishness?