So this is a little messed up; I will try to explain my situation. Me (M 24) and my girlfriend (F 24) have been dating for almost three years. We first met each other at school (same major, same classes), and we were friends for 2-3 months until I asked her out; while she rejected at the beginning, but she gave me complete positive signals and asked me to ask again(!) 2 months after that, and we were together since that time.

Due to the Covid, and the fact we were students we spend a considerable time in each other houses. Although we were in the same street, We were at each other places 24/7 the first year, and the following year we got rooms in the same house together, so we practically spent the whole time living together.

By the end of university, I had to immigrate to another country (my family had the plan for years, and she knew that from the beginning), and these two countries are more than 7 hours away from each other by plane, so seeing each other is not an easy option. I traveled out of the country 9 months ago. Where I was supposed to travel there in January, I did not (because of unforeseen circumstances), and our last in-person interaction was for 9 months ago. She can’t move here for at least 2 years because of her job. We really did not speak about the exact plans ever, but she said she wanted to move here; however, I haven’t seen any efforts from her, but that could be because we both know it’s not possible for now.

Our current situation is messed up too; because of time-zone conflicts, we are not talking that much, but she always looks to improve that. Also, she always said she is missing me and the activities we done it together (I should note that she moved to a new city now, so she barely knows anyone now; that probably is a factor too).

I know she was counting on short travel plans to keep the relationship on and probably find a permanent way, but as far as I have seen, I could not find any. At this point, I am confident I do not want to continue this relationship. Long-distance is just one of the reasons, but I am pretty positive she has strong feelings and is very attached.

I will have a short trip there in the next 3 months (university business which forced me to be there where she is attending too). I also have a suitcase and some other stuff in her place as I thought I would be there in January to grab those. And as she asks me all the time, I know she counts on that trip a lot.

At this point, I am not sure how should I proceed? I do not want to travel there and just break up with her on the first day as I feel she is counting on that, and in my thoughts, this is even worse than breaking up from a long distance.

On the other hand, I am not sure if breaking up over the phone is a good idea; as I said, she has high hopes and attached, I have so much stuff in her place which, and I am going to encounter her at the university’s event anyway.

There’s another option that I delayed the break up until the end of my upcoming trip and ended it on the final days. Still, I feel this even hurts her more, as it’s kind of like using her, and it’s a very unfair move; besides, I hate to continue it when my feelings have been changed, so I am crossing it out but just written here to see elaborate my situation.

What should I do? I feel like I just have terrible options, but I could nod decide which one is better for her and myself?

TL;DR: How should I proceed with breaking up the 3 years long relationship (9 months on long-distance now) when I will meet her 4 months from now on an event and have so much stuff at her place. She is too attached and looking for that trip. Should I go there and do that or do it now over the phone or something?

Any suggestions will be appreciated! MANY THANKS!