GF (26f) has a bright and bubbly people pleasing demeanour and speaks lovingly, she’s hardworking and likes to spend time with me, she’s quirky and pretty and energetic, it seems as though her capacity for a relationship stops at the emotional connection/communication/consideration checkpoint. She seems to store no important information I share with her, or seek to organise dates or plans with me. Her communication style around anything below the surface is passive aggressive and there’s no point sharing wins with her because she makes me feel dumb for doing that or tries to one up me instead. She has a “switch” that she flicks sometimes, and when she flicks it I become invisible to her, like a stranger, and the chemistry disappears. She does anything to avoid responsibility for any fault and ends up making me feel guilty for addressing feelings/needs/boundaries.

She was raised by a mother who has Overt Narc tendencies and a grey rock Dad, there was no positive communication in the home.

She’s just started therapy to attend to her stuff after six months of dating.

What’re your thoughts? Is this masochistic?