To preface this, I am a 17F and the friend is a 16 year old trans man. I will call him Darren. The mutual friend also involved with this will be called Alan. Alan is a victim of child sexual abuse, as well as blackmail and emotional abuse from someone I will call John. Before this all happened, I’m just going to list everything that made me dump him as a friend.

1. While we were having a cookout with two other mutual friends I had just met, we were playing a question game to get to know each other. One of the questions was ‘what is the most painful thing to ever happen to you?’ Darren looked at Alan and said, “Well, we all know what that is for you.” At this same event, Darren brought up how I lost my virginity to these two people who I was meeting for the first time. I had opened up to him in the past about how this was a traumatic experience for me and had PTSD in relation to it.

2. Darren dated John after Alan had shown him proof of the blackmail and emotional abuse she had endured, including an attempted assault, telling her that “he changed.”

3. I have a physical disability, and Darren would constantly ask inappropriate questions and be very intrusive about it. This included asking about my sex life, asking to see my surgery scars, and asking Alan if they could tell him my medical malpractice trauma and what specific surgeries I had without asking me.

So, after all of this, I cut him off. After I did so, he told a mutual friend of ours, Andy, that it was Alan and I’s fault that he tried to attempt suicide. Of course, I felt awful. I tried to give him another chance.

Since then, he has continued to make fun of me for struggling in math (my disability affects my learning as well), he told another mutual friend about my boyfriend’s DID without asking either of us if that was okay, and this week he showed up to my brother-in-law’s visitation and got mad at me when I left with my boyfriend to go get food after being there for 6 hours and didn’t take him with us. I had told him before that I was there to support my boyfriend and to grieve a dear friend.

I still have to see him daily at school in 3 different class periods, as well as events outside of school. He is a sophomore and I am a senior so I won’t be stuck with him for much longer, but I just can’t keep faking friendship. How do I cut him off after he threatened suicide last time and I have to see him every day? He even told me today that I “better not just run off to college and leave him.” He is just still very childish.

Edit: I should note that Darren’s parents are aware he is suicidal and he did actually go to an ER after an attempted overdose, but ended up fine as he only took Tylenol and nowhere near enough to do damage. He also has a therapist and is medicated.