I (M 21) broke up with my girlfriend (F 21) last night, and I don’t know if I made the right choice. Our relationship was both of our longest and first real relationships. She did not want to end the relationship.

I broke up with her for several reasons, one of them being that she is starting a job 6 hours away at the end of this semester when we both graduate from college. I think I may be just a jealous guy, and she has a career job lined up while I honestly have no plans. I think I would do okay if I had decided to stay together with her and move with her in an apartment.

Several months into our relationship, we were at a family party of hers celebrating her birthday and she got too drunk and made out with her lifelong best friend in front of me and her entire family. I thought about breaking up with her then, but I didn’t. She said she could not live without me and would rather die than for me to leave her. Red flag?

When I initiated the breakup, she didn’t see it coming. I had been thinking it over for a couple weeks without bringing it up, which she takes major offense to. How should I have dealt with this differently? Our communication during our relationship wasn’t great; often having small arguments nearly everyday towards the end when I broke up with her.

I thought relationships should get better over time. But ours had worsened for that fact over the past couple months and I expressed that I didn’t want to move with her. I’m thinking maybe I’m just scared of taking a big step with her.

Another red flag may have been when she jokingly said if she got pregnant I would have to move with her. She and I have had unprotected sex with no birth control for most of our relationship. Incredibly stupid, I know; so her saying this scared me.

Her parents are divorced and she relies on her mom a lot. She has almost zero capability to prepare meals for herself; can’t even operate a can opener. Even though she’s incredibly smart and has a decent job out of college (65K salary).

Her mom loves me and she told me that her mom didn’t want me to end things with her. I don’t know how I feel about that though. Is she relying on me as well to serve almost a male role in her life? She doesn’t spend time with her dad often, except during large family gatherings.

We both go to college in the city where I grew up. My immediate family all used to live here. But now it is just me. I had a falling out with friends a year and a half ago, and I have hardly any friends. She had a falling out with her friends, save two best friends, during the same time. The pandemic was devastating to our young college social lives; she and I became best friends.

I have no friends or family to spend time with anymore. I’ve struggled with depression and have been to therapy, been on medication for it since shortly after the pandemic began. My girlfriend was the person in my life I had for me. I feel strong regret for not being willing enough to work on our relationship. And I think I was just scared of moving, leaving where I’ve spent my whole life. But she’s moving to an exciting, growing city that I think I could enjoy.

I just feel incredibly young but hopeless and alone. Am I throwing away someone who made me happy and am I just scared. Did I try hard enough, or at all, to salvage a relationship worth saving? Or is it all in my head?

I’m sorry this is a long read. I can clarify things if needed; I just need advice. Thank you

TLDR; I broke up with her after a year. She has more things figured out, but there have been some issues. Can’t tell if I did the right thing