Truly don’t remember the experience but it was that and the following which lead to a spiral. I get a msg from my girls friend saying if “you don’t tell her” “i will” and that “she didn’t deserve it” Its Christmas eve, at my girls parents. I responded and asked her not to say anything yet, because of where we currently were, and i still was at a loss of what in the world she was talking about. A few days go by and i messaged back and explained I didn’t know what happened or what she was talking about. Apparently when we all together, I had said to another friend that i wanted to fuck her, I do remember brief flirting. I do remember saying it was nice to see her and she looked good when we first all got together. then we got bombed. birthday celebrations. anyway. i explained to her friend how horrible i felt. it was a mistake even if i didnt remember. before that night or after nothing was pursed. its not what i want. yes i need to control my social drinking but what do I do to regain the love of my lifes trust. Her friend and her had dinner tonight. she told her everything, because I hadn’t. I left the house briefly as she was enraged, rightfully so. I came back and am now, literally on the couch. I apologized. I explained i had no excuses, I love her and dont want this to end. What do I do?! 30/29 help highly appreciated!