I have told him I need to talk to him several times; please don’t think I haven’t tried. The last time I said “we need to talk,” he texted me back and told me he’s been depressed over the last few months - which is more explanation than I’ve ever got - and helps explain why he hasn’t wanted to spend time with me 1:1 in private as he said the depression completely destroyed his sex drive. Our relationship is very sexual and I think he is embarrassed. He will take me out to lunch or to the movies but there is no “quality” hang out time. It is unclear whether he thinks I would just jump his bones (I believe in consent!!!), but I am sure he knows I’m way more mature than that.

I understand depression very well and I don’t think he’s “full of it,” and I’m trying to be loving and supportive. A year ago I lived 45 minutes away from him and with COVID, he was too tight on money to really drive to visit me much - but he did, about once a week. Since July I’ve been living 15 minutes away from him and he’s gotten more steady work. Since the depression has only been a factor for a few months (putting us back to, say, October), I fail to see why we haven’t hung out more prior to the depression issue.

He’s not seeing someone else - I think he’s just lazy.

I am unsure how to proceed. I want to have a face to face conversation about my concerns and not spill my guts over text. We’ve only been “dating” officially since April 2021 but we’ve been involved with each other for the last 11 years. I just feel so unsure and unwanted and lost. Any advice welcome.