I (34F) was diagnosed ASD a couple years ago. My Mum is diagnosed BPD.

Xmas day ended in myself and my Mum having a pushing/shoving fight. I had a meltdown, as she wouldn't stop getting in my face, shouting at me that I'm stupid/retarded/ungrateful bitch when I expressed my upset/discomfort at myself and my 2 children (14 & 9 yrs old, both autistic too), being told we had to sleep nextdoor. She kept stating/shouting again and again 'can we not do this infront of my grandchildren', whilst they were both crying and trying to comfort each other behind me 😔 They were very upset, and asked me to stay awake all night to protect them. Originally we were invited to stay at my sister's place, then my parents, and then eventually at my parent's neighbour. I had originally planned to drive home, but the roads were flooded and I didn't want to drive home in the dark. I'm a cautious/capable driver, but very sensitive to light, and the flooding made me feel a bit trapped.

I'm very used to my Mum being both verbally and physically abusive when I was a child, but I have deliberately lived with only my kids for the past 13 years to protect them from that sort of life. I truly don't know whether I should keep trying to be patient/understanding of my Mum's mental health issues, or just cut ties. Unfortunately, if I cut ties with my Mum, I also stand to jepordise/lose the relationships I have with my Dad and siblings. Myself and my Mum work as the only 2 carers for my boss (a very lovely lady I genuinely enjoy working for), so cutting ties would mean I would have little choice but to give my notice too.

Any advice/sharing of similar stories will be very gratefully received! Thank you