Update: Fiance has noticed something is off and wants to sit down with me and have a talk. I feel like my feelings are so jumbled I can't possibly convey them in a logical way. I need advice on how to best lay this all out.

Posting for reassurance, & strength I guess.

I 33F am in a toxic relationship with my fiance 33M. He has two children, who have been through a lot & are a struggle, but I adore and have a really great relationship with. We live together, and have them on the weekends. My fiance works weekends and I work M-F, and care for the boys on the weekends. Even when my fiance comes home from work, he plays video games with SS6 while I cook dinner and entertain ADHD SS8. I have expressed that I wish he would spend more family time, which he agrees to, but only happens when I plan and enforce it. Once dinner is done I make sure the boys get into their pajamas and brush their teeth, typically he is on the couch in front of the TV/on his phone. He will yell at them when they don't listen to me but that's about it.

I have an issue with his relationship with his ex/BM. Early in our relationship, on separate occasions he has expressed to her that he still has feelings for her. I found this out once because he told me out of guilt, and the second time because she sent me screen shots of their conversations. She is also extremely unstable and has said and done unforgivable things to and about me. I realize they have children together, and encourage a healthy coparenting relationship. However, they talk frequently on snapchat about their personal lives and things other than the kids. He spends time alone with her once a week because he brings her and their son to appointments or grocery shopping or whatever is needed on his day off. He knows I am uncomfortable with this but refuses to make any adjustments and is resentful and blames me for being jealous/insecure and not trusting him. There is a new issue every week that upsets me.

He is angry a lot. I cry a lot. I have really bad anxiety, and conflict emphasizes that. I am uncomfortable around conflict/anger and any conflict typically triggers tears/sobbing. Sometimes this gets so bad ill sob all day/all night, and have woken myself up from sleep from it. That sobbing then triggers his anger because he can't stand the sound or he's trying to sleep and the cycle continues.

I am 6 months pregnant with our daughter. I love this man with my whole heart despite our issues. We started therapy a couple weeks ago but have only had two sessions. I have been in individual therapy for quite awhile, and while my therapist professionally "supports me no matter what I decide", her obvious "hidden" recommendation is that I leave. I own the house we live in, and pay all of the bills. He does give me money occasionally for groceries and has helped with a few major expenses. While he does sometimes clean up after me, the majority of the household chores fall on my shoulders because I work from home. He has an hour commute each way, so he is up at 5:30am and arrives home around 5:30pm. He is tired most days.

It's not all bad. We do laugh a lot, and he is very kind to me when we are not at odds. He tells me how much he loves me and can't wait to spend our lives together, he tells me I'm beautiful and that holding me is his favorite thing. He tells me he is scared of losing me and our unborn daughter and that he wants me to be happy... he has started to put much more of an effort in aeound the house, but the fighting has gotten so bad and so frequent. I feel like I am spiraling into a depression once a week and dig myself out of it long enough to care for the kids on the weekends and the cycle repeats.