Hello all! A bit of background. I was diagnosed with diabetes back when the wife and I were still dating, but lived together. At that point it felt like she was super supportive and if we went somewhere to eat she would make sure it had a higher protein option or she'd suggest groceries with lower carbs. I was on an HSA through Cigna and it was horrible. At one point I woke up in pain from muscle issues in my neck, back and arm and took myself to the ER (we have a daughter so she stayed home with her to ensure sleep). I was told it was spasms, they gave me a shot and sent me on my way. When I got the bill it was $1200. As you can guess I live in the U.S. a regular doctor's visit with my insurance costed about $250 every three months When we got married the following June I was added to her insurance plan which is a PPO. Over the years she's complained about how much us taken from her paycheck. Normally she would make about $1500 but only takes home $950ish now bi-weekly. Recently my wife messaged me about insurance plan updates at her job and she's pushing hard to change to an HSA so that she can take home more. My issue is that we're trying to have a baby so when those appointments come up we'll have to pay a hefty amount. On top of that, I have to see the endocrinologist and as a specialist they charge quite a bit. These typically run about $450 every three months through the HSA. My shots cost quite a bit as well (about $1000 per month). She's also in therapy that currently has everything covered in the current plan. Lastly we have to meet the deductible for everything to get covered with the HSA. When she messaged me I told her my concerns and the only response I got is that she doesn't want to keep making less and she hates to see her paychecks so low. I understand, but I don't really think that she understands how I feel about medical debt. I saw my mother go through it first hand and she had cancer. She wants to speak with the health advocate for her company, and I'm not opposed, but I've spoken to a few before and they have leaned heavily towards the HSA option and told me not to choose the PPO before because the HSA allows you flexibility. I toldnher that if she chooses an HSA I don't want to be on the same insurance because she's showing me that my health, of which I have little influence in many regards (can't cure the diabetes), are not a factor and that she's putting her pay over mine. Reddit, what do you think I should do?