So I've been seeing my now girlfriend for about 4 months. A few weeks back we talked about our dating history and such. Turns out I'm her first real boyfriend and she is only my second girlfriend (I've had one short relationship about 2 years ago). We're both 30.

We shared how many people we have each slept with, my number was 8 and hers was much higher in the 20's or 30's. Turns out she has had lots of casual relationships and flings throughout her 20's. Being a hot girl in a big city with modern dating and app culture made that easy, I'm sure.

Long story short, I'm looking back and realizing I never really had that phase in my life. I've always been a heavier guy and not so confident about my looks. I've started getting into shape recently and have had more luck in dating (those 8 people I've slept with have all been in the past 3 years).

It makes me think I could have my own "hoe phase" or whatever you want to call it. I've never been able to casually date and maybe now is that time.

I really like my girlfriend though and she has totally fallen for me. I see us together for a while, but I'm also not sure I'm looking for a wife or someone to settle down with right now. We've both expressed how we're afraid of commitment and aren't going to make any promises about getting married or anything like that. We're not looking to settle down anytime soon, but we are exclusive.

I'm just trying to figure out what I should do here. I think I could have a lot of fun with her, the sex is good, she's an awesome person and fun to be around and just hang out with. But at the same time I still look at other girls all the time and fantasize.

Any advice is appreciated

Edit: It's truly not about the number for me and I shouldn't have even made this post about her "body count". It's more that this has made me realize that I want more sexual experiences with different partners before I settle down with someone for the rest of my life.

While it's certainly possible I won't be with this girl forever, I can't help but feel like by entering an exclusive relationship that is the goal. That's what scares me. I'd be fine if I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to be with this girl forever. That maybe it'll last a year or 2 years and then I'd date again. I really was looking for a relationship when I met this girl and I do see one developing with her. I just don't think I'm looking for something that will last the rest of my life.

She seems to be scared by this prospect too, so it's possible that we're on the same page. I'm just afraid of being so blunt about it because then it feels like there's some sort of timer on the relationship.