My daughter is technically 15, but she will be 16 next month.

I divorced from her mother in January 2011, and I think this is when it all started. We'd fight physically and yell and my daughter would watch it all and it wasn't very healthy. I had two other sons too, she's the middle child.

Eventually, that all settled, we moved house, the younger brother (14M) went to live with the mother, and I kept my eldest son (18M) and daughter. I got married around 2016, and she has a step mom. My daughter frequents between both houses unlike my son (who's mostly good for nothing but gamings), but when she's with me, she seems so sad.

We fight a lot. About the toilet seat, about cleaning, about food, about each other. She never listens to my opinion on anything, yet she's somehow the most obedient and willing to help. If I ask her to do something, she'll do it, but if I tell her how I feel about something, she won't listen to me. She's very intelligent and doing well in school, but I feel she's wasting it.

Our last fight was about her prom. She said she doesn't want to go, so I told her she should and I have more life experience than her (I remind her of this a lot as she doesn't listen to me) and it blew into a big argument. She said that if I care so badly, I should go, and leave her alone. She ignores the lectures I give her about life, just wanting to go back to her room.

She went and pierced her ears without telling me, and when I told her off, she got snappy with me.

She talks to me less and less and gets offended at everything I say, I made a joke in the car about a woman driving and she called me sexist and racist, and if I try to show her funny videos, she brings up all these '-phobic' words and turns the other way.

After our prom argument, things were tense between us. I tried to take her shopping with me and she used to try and chat and smile even after all our arguments, but this time she didn't speak to me and shrugged and mumbled. She was like that for a week, and then she went to her mom's and hasn't come back in a month. She used to alternate weekly. I've called her and spoke to her and she says she's fine - she came by last week to pick up some clothes.

She won't come down to eat if I'm living room, she's always itching to get away from me. I understand she's growing up but I'm still her father. She avoids me in the house and she acts like a sad zombie, yet I see how she is when she comes back from her mom and younger brother - she doesn't act this way with me.

She says that she hates that I drag her into arguments between me and her mother, but I refuse to communicate with that woman and my daughter is the only way of getting messages across, my eldest son is irresponsible and lazy, and my youngest son has behaviour issues. I'm starting to get fed up with her attitude and just want things to go back to how they used to be when she was just a little girl who loved her dad.

I haven't done anything dramatic, I try to bond with her but she just leaves. I've given her so much but I don't think she appreciates it. Her room is beside mine and I hear her crying sometimes but she won't talk to me, and if I come to her room, she tucks way under the duvet like a child. I have no idea what to do