My ex that I was with for 10 years really messed up my head. Women seem to be good at that. She has the unfortunate mix of being a narcissist who enjoyed alcohol. She was good at getting people to perceive the personality she wanted them to see. For example, she always said she would do anything for people. But rather than do it silently, she has to announce it to the world. I honestly feel she did things for attention, for praise more than anything.
Being a narcissist, she could never take responsibility for anything. Anything in the relationship was my fault. She had a huge double standard. Things she would get on me for, she would do. When I called her out on that, she deflected and pinned it all on me. I am a typical human that can admit I am not perfect. I was willing to work to compromise. But when she says she is perfect and has nothing to work on, what can you do?
She was insensitive towards me as well. When old friends of hers came over, all they did was retell the same stories over and over. That’s all fine of course. But when they get into details about other men and the things she would say right I front of me were brutal. Her circle of friends even got into fights because they argued about which of them a man wanted. One of these dumb arguments caused a rift for like 3 years between two of them. My ex was so upset that some guy liked her friend more. And get this, my ex was married at the time! So it shouldn’t have even mattered.
She used to travel for work and I found out she cheated one time. From how she acts, I know in my heart there was many others. She would be overly friendly with people. Touchy feely, etc. Add alcohol to the mix, I am not an idiot.
We have 2 kids together. They adore their mom. They also know about her drinking. They say they don’t like when she gets loud and crazy. They tell me she can be mean. The kids like to draw and when they draw her they add a wine glass in her hand. At her last birthday, one of my girls made my ex a card. She put something like I hope you love me more than you love wine. Of course they all laugh but I am worried. She drinks to the point where she passes out on the living room floor.
My mind is consumed by this since we have children. I work full time and have them a lot but I still worry. Has anyone else felt with someone like this? How did it go?