So I’ve known this girl for almost 2 years and we started out as neighbors I’m 18 she’s 19. She lived in the town home next to me with at the time her boyfriend who I didn’t find out until later he moved out due to him being abusive. I went over to her house about a month after he moved because we both played destiny and she was showing me a raid. We had lots of fun connected on lots of different things and we ended up sleeping together. That turned into me going over every night sometimes drinking sometimes just watching Netflix or YouTube or talking about memories or experiences we’ve both had. She dropped that she loved me about a month and a half into me going over and to my fault I truly loved her back. I’d never connected with someone in a friendship like her. I’ve told her things that no one else knows not even my parents or my best friends. And she’s told me things that no one else knows about her. We would sit on her deck and cry and laugh and watch the stars and overall just have a fun time.

It wasn’t til about 3 months in that I found out from a friend she had been talking to this guy who lived in Norway and we both live in the Midwest of the U.S when I asked her about it she said he was just a friend that she used to play on destiny with. We would continue to sleep together and I’d stay the night at her place. She never put a label on us but she didn’t want to see me in any other relationship.

That was almost a year ago. She’s moved she only lives like 10 mins away and I still see her but not as frequently. We still sleep together sometimes but at this point I feel like she’s just using me until she meets this guy. There relationship has escalated. She told me one night that they are dating and in a open relationship. I feel like this last year has just been me being used to the point where I’ve been depressed and anxious. I could care less where we end up as long as we remain friends but the feelings of being lied too and being used is just too much at times.

My question to everyone is what should I do. I’ve tried cutting her off but it’s so hard to do that with someone who you have such a connection with. I know her “boyfriends” PlayStation account and I’ve thought about messaging him and telling him about everything multiple times but I’m torn between not wanting to be that person. And also the feeling of hurt and anger at being used for almost 2 years.