Long post alert, posted yesterday but hoping for more interaction....been with this guy off and on for two years. When I mean off and on, I mean he didn't want to commit until he told me to move on and I did. Once seeing me move on, he came back around and wanted to commit. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said yes. Throughout to two years things have been the same issue repetitively....I'm not a girly girl but he says he is very attracted to me and likes that other men are too. Loved that I'm pretty with no makeup. In the 2 years I've tried dressing up more, jewelry, curing my hair, nails done etc. I found that I've like doing these things and so I began doing them for me too. But that's just the start, when we have petty fights he finds a way to blow them up, break up, and within a few days misses me and wants me back.

Back to before committing (about 5 months in) we had started sleeping together and after knowing he had a very promiscuous, asked him to get tested. It came back he had herpes, that night he stayed at my apt, cried all night. I comforted him and assured him it was going to be okay (even though I was freaking out inside), and I told him I cared about him and wasn't going anywhere, and up until now I haven't. I asked (since at the time there was no commitment) if he had been with anybody else in the time he had been with me, he said 1 other...months later admitted to lying that at that time there were 3 others. Again we weren't committed but it hurt considering he lied and I really care about him. I forgave him and have moved on from it.

Shortly after his diagnosis, he was fired from work, where we met. He was devastated as he relocated for this job. Once again, I was there for him. His tears, his anger over the situation and even in the 2 months he had no job, I was right there. In that time for about 2-3 weeks he took a box trucking gig. In that time (still no commitment at this time) he would call all day/night because he was bored driving. We had a lot of deep conversations, a lot of emotional growth happening. But when he came back I found out while he was away he was chatting up some girls back in a town he used to live in and was traveling through for the job. They declined and nothing came of it but it hurt me that you're on the phone with me all day, but trying to hook up with others while also knowing you have herpes. But again, didn't feel like I could do much with no commitment.

There are various other things but to recap, I've been there through his family deaths, family fights, he got a puppy and I take care of her mainly because works nights, sleeps in the day and does college work/goes to gym in between. Clean his apartment, always help when he is struggling with homework, and I do laundry cause he doesn't have a lot of time. We both eat out a lot because we are single, no kids, both make good money...but also too he doesn't have a lot of time to cook and nor do I between doing all that for him, a job of my own, own laundry, own apartment to clean, and own gym life. I even let him use two of my credit cards numerous times for things he would have rather made payments on instead of in full. He does pay them back, but this is just that much more I've done. I have a masters degree in my field but he just started college for the first time in Jan.

A promotion/20k pay raise is likely for me by the end of the year but in another city about 3hrs from me. I asked if he would consider transferring down there so we can continue our relationship. He said not right away if he can't transfer at the same level or higher. I didn't mean to make him upset or make him feel down, but I've started my career, make more money, makes sense to follow the person who is settled rather than have the relationship suffer through long distance or end completely because of his "title". When a future was being talked about I told him I make enough to take care of us both, I asked him to consider quitting his job (that he has no intention of staying with when school is done anyway) to expedite his schooling faster. He declined, I respected his choice, but still wish he were further into school and wish he would consider more.

We ended up committing eventually. We have had some really good times. We have had some great adventures, we laugh so much together. Sex is great. He began to gain my trust and I don't believe there has been any cheating from him, and none on my end either. We are very open with phones, social media accounts etc. but we have also struggled a lot too. As mentioned a lot of blow up fights over things not worthy, him leaving, coming back, he yells in fights, says mean things he regrets. Constantly wants me to dress better (bothers me that going into the relationship he knew I wasn't super girly but now I'm supposed to change up?), do more, cook for him (he doesn't realize I'm exhausted and don't have time cause I'm busy doing things for him).I've had my share of wrongs too, but nothing that I would consider out of the ordinary for a relationship, not anything worth relationship ending.

We took a break from Dec-Feb but came back together and have improved in a lot of ways but still struggle in the conflict situation. Regardless we decided to move in together as we felt we would continue to do better. My lease is up in 3 weeks, his in 3 months so I was just going to move in with him for the 3 months as a trial and then we would see from there.

Recently things have gotten even better, better communication, calm talking etc. but, that's when he started the night shift and it's made time with him almost impossible. I've been staying at his house every night since starting night shift for the purpose of taking care of the dog whom I've fallen in love with too. This week when he would come home in the morning he would simply say good morning but then the rest of the morning while I'm getting dressed for work and he is just hanging out since he just got off, its like we are just strangers in the same room. I was visibly annoyed by it but didn't say much cause I didn't wanna start anything (since he shows a history of blowing up if I complain) but he noticed my mood was off and kept pushing me to talk. So I told him a little interaction or conversation in the morning would really help with me not feeling there's much time for us. I left for work as the convo was going nowhere. He broke up with me on the phone while I was at work because he stated he didn't have enough time for me and I should move on to somebody that did. I told him it's not that I'm bothered by his busy schedule or that I'm not supportive of his current endeavors, but just wanted the small time we do have to be utilized better. He still wanted to be done. When I got off work he told me to come gather my belongings. Later in conversation when I went to gather my things he began saying other things that he was unhappy about that I never knew of, Don't cook, too independent, don't dress well enough (I knew of this one previously but due to me trying more and him no longer complaining I thought it was solved) I told him I didn't know these issues and would have appreciated some time to work through them but told him people change on their own timing too. This isn't his universe and we should all do what he wants in a snap of the finger. I also asked how I was supposed to know he was so unhappy if we planned to live together in just a few weeks? When I came back from a weekend trip last Monday, he redid his apartment bathroom, bought me my own towels etc in preparation for me to move in. I had already begun moving things in. Yet I am to know he isn't happy but you're making arrangements to live together still?

I could go on and on. But point of all this is I love him soooooo much! And he has shown me ways of life and things I didn't know before. Some of these things I've come to like myself. But I'm just so sad he is gone and overwhelmed by now having to figure out a living arrangement. Money isn't an issue but considering I may have to move for work as mentioned, didn't want to get another lease. We haven't talked in several days. Don't know if I should keep trying to grow with him or accept that things are too far to come back from. Does he just need space? Am I doing too much?

Also just for reference, both 28, both never been married, both have no kids, both financially independent, both say this is our most serious relationship.