I'm with a girl who is bi for almost five months now. I'm 32, she's 27, and we both work in the same shitty job just I'm part time and she's full time. I help her with rent, paying her car off since her old one caught fire mid drive, and helping around the house. She fell in love with me since I helped her out and we had an emotional breakdown on our first actual date. We discussed triggers and dealing with stuff in our pasts.

When it comes to emotional states of openness I tend to get angry and shut down. I had made her a promise I wouldn't shutdown, but I broke it recently because she had told me she wanted to go back on the used underwear market due to times being tough. I didn't know how to deal with that nor did I have an answer so I had no choice, but to shut down. I speak to my close friends (two sadly) whenever I have issues, but this issue I spoke to a former boss of mine since she was older. All that was discussed with her were the same points she was going to make, but she got mad I had to vent to someone else. I even told her I had an issue grasping the concept, because I've never had someone say they'd do that and I panicked so it was either talk to someone or resort to cutting again.

I have an issue with trust and getting hurt again because I'm the past I never been in a relationship this serious or for the amount of time currently. Most past relationships were just the girl looking for attention, sugar daddies, or just to play me into think on could get someone like them hence I don't speak to my partner as I would my friends. Our job is shit and she suffers from ehlers-danlos syndrome so she's in constant pain, but they have her helping unload trucks. Just yesterday our boss said on side side away from the assistant supervisor that if she got a medical note excusing her from being on truck she'd be fired. She was hit hard, had a mental breakdown, spoke to her father crying, and had suicidal thoughts since her life is miserable and she feels alone.

I told her she wasn't alone and that she shouldn't think like that, but she doesn't see it that way. No matter what words I use they come off hollow to her and I'm just on the air like why try to appease her and have her feel loved and tjay she isn't alone. I don't want to leave her with no way to pay off her car, or pay rent, and not be around her as to not have her commit to the suicidal thoughts.

Her main issue with me is that she can open up and feel comfortable talking to me,bit when it comes to me I don't just immediately open up and just feel comfortable in her presence the same way. Again I had shitty relationships (if you want to call it that), I was treated like shit back in middle and high school, I had suicidal thoughts and did self harm (cutting), and I just want this all to go well since this is the first time I felt happiness in God knows how long.