I don't know what to do she is driving me crazy and my hands are tied. My gf(34) and I(32) have been together ~4 years...have known each other for 14years (fwb for 8 of those crazy how thing turn out)...

Anyways her mom was living with her before we got serious and still lives with us....But her and I have never seen eye to eye...at one point maybe we did...but she is ignorant, very little common sense, has no idea what saving money is, or how to use a stove, and apparently the dishwasher is a forgein object, a daycare would take better care of our kids(2&7) than she does...sleeps all day and night if you let her...

I mean today she really sent me over the edge...here you go example #34571

Yesterday I gave her our bank card(I like to inform my gf any time I am going to use it so we are both on the same page) to go to the store with her friend that was visiting to get a bottle of degreaser, a pack of cigs for me and 3 batteries...$27 was the total...seemed high to me...I asked did you get anything else she said nope...today I went and asked where the batteries were...

She said I didn't get them because we have some here...she still hasn't found any btw...I asked about the total how can a bottle of degreaser and a pack of cigs cost $27...she explains she got herself a pack too...I stood there and explained that she can't be doing that because I confirm with my gf what I am going to be getting and if it's more than expected it can mess up bills...she just shrugged it off

So not only did she spend money on other things other then what I had said..also didn't get everything I wanted...like WTF. The icing on the cake was the reason she got a pack of cigs is because the spend almost $200 dollar on "Wish" 3 days before...she went through the $600 stimulus in 2weeks time.

For some reason she assumed my gf and I have the extra money to buy her stuff...did the same thing in October she got her monthly check and 2 days later was broke and she said well she needed to get Christmas present...again wtf

When it comes to watching the kids (which I have been home more more than usual) she doesn't act like a grandma...one day I came home for lunch and saw a slice of ham on a plate...not thinking anything of it I ask the 2yr old if she is hungry...my mother in law walks by and said yeah she probably is hungry I tried to give her some ham but she didn't want to eat it...then my light bulb in my head...did she really consider a slice of ham on the table is a lunch for a 2year old??? When the 2 year old is sick my gf and I can't concentrate at work all day...and we can't afford childcare

She is always talking shit or making comments...she wont cook...for a while my gf would get home before me at 630pm and still have to cook supper while her mom sits outside or in her room...she doesn't help with laundry she only cleans her clothes...when we moved the last two times I had to load and unload pretty much alone and all the did was pack her room and bathroom that's it

I could go on and on about all the examples but that's too much typing...my gf won't tell her mom anything...her excuse is she has tried but it never helps...I have tried to ask what's up with her but never an answer...or hinted and sometimes straight up told her she needs to pitch in and help alittle more...

I fear she maybe the reason my gf and I break up one day. But what can I do or say to her to get through to her or find out what the deal is...a while back I tried going to one of her friends to maybe get some insider info...it did not work in my favor her friend sided with her no matter what

Summary: my possible future mother-in-law is driving me crazy and my hands are tied and don't know what to do