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My wifey and I have been together for about 6 years, been friends for almost 10. Pre-covid we did a lot of things together such as volunteering with and community support organization and serving on their board and singing in a chorus together. We both love to sing and have done a couple duet performances with our group. We aren't professional by any means, but we both get a lot of joy from it and from the community.
She has recently been suffering from a very hoarse voice and went to her doctor when it didn't get better. They said one of her vocal chords is paralyzed and they found a mass near her thyroid. She had a biopsy today and we are waiting for results, but the doctor said he would be surprised if it isn't thyroid cancer. We did some research on this when they first found the mass and it seems to have a high probability of recovery with treatment. The more devastating prognosis is that her doctor said her voice may never get better. He said that she may get her speaking voice back to mostly normal, but she may not be able to sing anymore.
She is trying to be strong, but I know this is a huge blow to her and I'm just so broken hearted about it. I love to sing with her and hear her sing, and I don't want to make things any harder on her. I want to continue singing with our chorus (we currently rehearsal remotely and record ourselves to be edited into a virtual performance until it is safe to sing together), but I feel so bad that she can't join us now, and maybe not ever again.
Does anyone have suggestions on ways I can help her cope and grieve her voice that we both loved and enjoyed so much? We have a large community of singers that we know, but she hasn't taken this prognosis public yet, and I won't force her to tell anyone if she doesn't want to.
tl;dr How can I help my wifey cope with and illness and losing her singing voice permanently when we both love to sing? (cross posted on r/relationships)
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