So I am new to Reddit. You guys aren't therapists, or at least you aren't mine, so I'm sorry to come here and burden you. I am often too cynical for counseling anyways; I always feel like it's a racket. I'm desperate though. I'm (25m) living with my gf (28f). I am pretty sure I am unhappy. Never dumped anyone in my whole life, I am ALWAYS the dumpee. If it should say anything it should be about my cowardice, and I'm the most cowardly dude I know, in relationships. If something displeases me, I'd never say it. I'd never tell an SO if something they did annoyed me, I'd never tell them to stop anything. I'd never put a foot down for any reason, because I am in a perpetual state of currying favor. I'm the type of guy who is fishing for the answers I know you wanna hear than ever actually speaking from the heart. I'm afraid to. I see assertiveness in other relationship as controlling, I see it as men bossing women around, they always seem so commanding, pushy, bossy. I don't wanna do that. I am here to roll over and placate at any and all times, even if I am slowly growing to despise our relationship on the inside. I think that is what is happening here.

She and I have a lot in common, we have PC games, we love music, we love movies, we hate children, we are atheists, we have a mutually negative, disillusioned disposition. However, we like different games, love different music, love different types of movies, disagree on marriage, disagree on moral stances. Oh I am like 95% sure she is racist too, which is fun. She has a way of making me feel so invalidated and stupid for liking things I like whenever I want to share what I love with her. Any song I wanna show her is met with rolling eyes, any movie suggestion met with unwarranted beligerence because it 'has Brad Pitt and I hate him,' and any suggestion that I do anything that isn't directly up her ass is met with anger. Those familiar with League of Legends or any MMO that has gone downhill may be familiar with the Sunk Cost Fallacy. I am beginning to feel that here, like I need to continue with her, because I burned my perfectly healthy relationship with my mom to the ground for this, stopped talking to most my friends to accomodate her codependency. I feel so fucking trapped sometimes that I literally feel like I am suffocating and hyperventilating. I have tried bringing shit up to her. How things she says affects me, how I am sensitive, and how I want to make this work but not sure how and she just gets angry with me for being too sensitive. Tells me to man up.

It's weird how quickly a relationship tucks a tail between my legs considering I'm so confident and arguably full of myself when I'm single, but idk you change that FB status and suddenly I NEVER wear the pants again. I'm not honest because I am scared, and the way she patronizes me and belittles me every time I do anything wrong, or get enthusiastic about something she cares little for, that type of shit doesn't help me feel any less small. Idk why I am so sensitive. Is she right? Am I a pussy? When I hear a song I fall in love with and she rolls her eyes and groans at the mere suggestion that I show her, it is soulcrushing, and I'm not sure it should be. I only know my experiences.

The scary thing for me is, should I leave? How do I leave? Can it be painless? I don't want to break her heart. I think she is great and I love her, but I can't take the heat in her kitchen...so do I stick it out and man up? Am I a pussy?

Is it possible to love someone but feel you are so incompatible that it hurts?