Hello.

I (22M) am dating a girl (21), and am feeling like I'm inadequate, or that I'm not enough.

We are long distance, and whenever we are together, we both feel awesome, and have no apparent problems with the relationship. It's when we are apart, snapchatting, messaging, whatever, that I feel like she isnt there for me.

She has stated a few times that I remind her of past partners that have been abusive to her in the past, and in no way would I want to hurt her in any way. So she sends me snaps every now and then of her looking sad, and of course I ask what's wrong. She then flips out, telling me that it's none of my business and that I'm gaslighting.

Im just trying to be there for the person that I love. Im always the one to initiate conversations. I say something like "good morning! How are you doing?" And she replies back with a pic of her looking either sad or mad. I say "hey, are you ok? Anything you'd like to talk about?" And then she flips, saying that i should never have asked, and then she wont talk to me for a few hours.

It makes me feel like I can't be there for her, and she is almost never there for me. I always ask how she's doing, whats going on, or whatever, and she never reciprocates the same to me. She never asks how my day is going, how I'm feeling, or if anything is bothering me.

I just dont know what to do, because I feel that if I share these feelings with her, she will just flip at me again, and make me feel like shit all over again.

To add: she always says she feels like I'm trying to manipulate her, and that she will open up when shes ready, but idk if I can handle that. I dont think I can handle being pushed to the side for however long she needs takes to be ready with me.