So this is going to be a long one. I met a girl on world of warcraft November 2018. We raided, we had fun doing content together. We started to talk more and give more public details to each other. She lived in Canada and I am an American. We started dating in December. At the time she told me she had a very complicated medical history: fibromyalgia, diabeties, a head injury, and other things. At the time these things never really mattered. She would have bad days, but it never really interfered with us ever doing anything together. I was proud of her for fighting to have a normal life and handle all these conditions.

I flew to Canada in April to see her and it was heaven. We knew our relationship was real. We played tourist, cooked together, kissed, held hands, snuggled, played board games. She said not to get my hopes up that she might be too shy to talk the first day, but within minutes we were holding hands and laughing and talking. I had found myself a cute amazing gamer girl. She took medication and insulin, but again, her pain and things never stopped us from doing anything together. We were in love.

I have been a couple more times since then. It is expensive to go see her for a week, but totally worth it. She hasn't been here yet, as the doctors don't know how flying would affect her head, and haven't really had the time to get her checked that flying was ok. Canada requires me to have several years work experience before I can apply to work there. So I am working on that. The other plan is she will graduate next year, and might go to grad school here in America. So, the plan was to finally close the gap in 2021.

Before this whole COVID thing hit I saw her in February for valentines day. Took her to a nice dinner, and again a week of games, snuggling, talking, and being a happy amazing couple. Since then things haven't been good. She has gotten really sick off and on since I saw her. She had some sort of cold/flu after I left, then she had exams, then she got sick off of stress from exams. Since I have seen her she has been off and on sick and it's wearing her down. She has been stressed, hasn't really been sleeping or eating well. I have tried to be supportive however I can. We haven't really done much except talk and watch the occasional tv show/anime together.

A couple weeks ago she said she needed to talk. That all of her conditions have gotten worse. A lot worse. I kind of knew but also didn't know how bad. She's in a lot more pain constantly, her diabetes pain is creeping up her legs, and her head injury has been flaring up more. She said her memory is starting to go at times. And that she's fallen into deep depression because she's just tired of being in pain and exhausted all the time. She has a doctor, a therapist, and sees all kinds of pain specialists and other doctors to help her with all of these things. She hasn't seen them as much because of COVID. When she went to see a doctor she was forgetting and repeating herself a lot, and is on the wait list for an MRI. Hopefully in October or November. But the way she's talking about everything, makes it sound like she has given up. Maybe she has months to live? A year? A couple? With all her conditions I didn't expect to grow old with her. I was hoping God would give us 5-10 good years, and that might not even be happening.

Needless to say this relationship has been draining since February. I have been giving her constant support and love because I love her and want to be there for her. However, I feel like I am in a loveless relationship. If I say I love her she says it back, but that's the extent. There is no flirting, no intimacy, no affection. On the one hand I feel drained and empty because I'm not really getting any love from her. On the other hand she is depressed and in constant pain, so is it right for me to expect any of that from her when she is dealing with so much already? But shouldn't she want to reach out for that love and closeness during all of this? I don't feel like she tries. Just one text would make my week. One time that she tells me she loves me, or shes thinking about me. But, it never happens. Yes I have talked to her about this, that I want/need some sort of affection because we are dating, and she responds she will try she just has no drive at the moment because of everything.

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I don't know what to do. I will be seeing a therapist this week about all of this, but I figured there might be someone out there or people that could tell me how they deal with a spouse/partner that has depression or chronic illnesses. I love her, I really do. I have never been happier then with her, and she is everything I want in a girlfriend/spouse. I want this virus to go away so I can see her. She is in a stressful house and I have wanted to get her out of there. To see if her being with me and stress free improves her body and possibly heals some. The UK and America have opened a certain agreement that lovers can see each other, and I hope Canada and America do the same. However, even if they did with her immuno-deficiency I might have to go quarantine before I even see her.

I have talked to a couple of close friends about it and gotten mixed messages. Some say if I love her then I stay with her through the rough times. Others say if I am not getting any love or affection and brought it up then why am I still with her? I would feel like an asshole if I broke up with her now when she needs me, but there's also a chance I support her until she passes away in the next months/year. Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated, especially anyone that has gone through what I am.