Believe it or not, this post was EDITED to be more concise.

BACKGROUND:

I (35) just got out of a terrible relationship. My partner (32) was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive, cheated on me, manipulated me (including severe and effective gaslighting while I was already in therapy for trauma from past abuse), regularly brought me down when I wouldn't do every task they asked of me, made me feel terrible about myself when calling them out on their inappropriate behavior, told all their friends I was a toxic jerk who was beneath them and that they were always about to leave me--despite putting tons of energy into keeping me around and telling me how important I was to them...

All of the above occured regularly and frequently over the course of our 9-mo relationship.

One time recently, they administered my cat a medication that I'd asked them not to give due to concerns over the cat's seizures (then the cat had a seizure, and partner lied about the whole thing and tried to draw an accusation out of me).

When I noticed that their general abusive talk started sifting over to my cat--followed by my finding out about the medication dosing--it was my wakeup call, and I quite suddenly moved out and into a new place. Partner begged me to stay with them and finally agreed they needed therapy, but at this point, I felt done, and I said I was moving for sure, and that I'd think about couples therapy. Now, partner is telling me I betrayed them, and they're expecting me to stay in the relationship while they think about whether they want to make it work while we hardly talk.

My partner has been an alcoholic throughout their adult life (blackout drunk 6-7 nights per week on average), but also has lots of underlying mental illness that affects their behavior, too. They have never sought professional help for either problem.

I worry a lot about my partner's well-being, and the fact that 2-3 of their die-hard-yes-man friends seem to be taking advantage of their mental illness for the sake of having a close friend for their own escapism endeavors. These friends raise a glass to every self-destructive thing my partner says or does in between feigning support for partner's endeavors to grow as a person, and one of them has been sleeping with them for a few months now. Should I worry? Due to mental illness coming into play, this seems way sleazier than the classic "they're in charge of their own actions" mentality.

Someone keeps leaving Witch spell ingredients (I Googled it--plus partner is into that stuff) outside the front door of my new place, and now I feel like I have zero privacy. My partner is very well connected in our community, and I am certain, based on their past behavior, that their narrative is that I deserve the ire of all their angry-at-life friends--many of whom are always looking for a target for their anger and don't mind breaking laws that include physically hurting people.

CURRENT ISSUE:

Ultimately, I just want to leave this all this behind me, but in our relatively small city, that is proving difficult. I feel like I can't go to any of the public places that I grew up enjoying, as I have already run into people with whom my partner networks and been asked some weird personal questions in a way that didn't seem friendly.

I am definitely worried for my professional reputation as a working artist, a little concerned about my safety, and absolutely lacking peace of mind.

So far, my plan has been to privately move on, and be the best person I can be. But I find myself wondering if I should start making my story heard. Some aspects of our culture say this helps prevent others from undergoing the same experience, but I don't really feel like devoting my energy to a shit-talk campaign, nor do I wish to be spiteful, or, for that matter, seen as the toxic jerk I am accused of being.

Any insight is appreciated.

I have deliberately omitted gender from this post. Lmk if you feel that information is relevant.