Firstly, I would thank you all if you choose to read this, any advice is much appreciated. Warning: It's very long.

I 24 year male had been dating a 21 year old female named Brittany for the past 10 months, things had been rough during the lockdown but were getting better. I was always there for her to support her mental health with regard to various aspects, but bear with me now.

We had a disagreement as follows.

It started when I asked her not to recommend any tv shows to me unless I ask her for recommendations. Given that in the past, she has never taken any recommendations of mine and gets angry/annoyed when I don't take her recommendations. Made me feel like my opinion didn't matter. We even had a deal in which she would watch "abc" show and I would watch "xyz" and "def" shows, I recently finished xyz, but she hasn't even started with abc, I have asked/suggested about 4-5 times in the past month, that she could watch show 'abc' but instead, she feels bad about not watching it and starts saying that I am purposely making her feel bad. I really wanted her to watch that show, but last time she started saying these things, I gave up, which why it hurt me when she recommended another tv show today morning, which followed my ask for no recommendations.

She then asked me to not ask her what she is currently watching for the forseeable future, when I inquired the reason she said, she doesn't know why she doesn't want me to ask that.

I felt incomplete, I always do when I don't know the reason for something, it's always been there. I have tried to fight and fulfill it in the past but this time, I broke down and started crying. She wanted to go and sleep, given that she was tired, and asked me whether she could do that with no stress to me. I said, that's not possible, I will always have stress, but there's nothing to be done here, go on and sleep.

She cares for and loves me, so she inquired as to why was I crying, I tried to give the above reasoning, but she then started calling me irrational and said I was behaving like it is my time of the month.

That blew my mind, I calmly asked her, 'what?', she repeated her sentence. I screamed fuck off and cut the phone.

I then wrote her after about 4 hours a text as follows:

Dear Her Initials,

When you know I have OCD, and I am telling you, I don't have closure, doesn't mean I am acting irrationally or quote 'it's my time of the month.'

Just because you cannot understand it, doesn't mean its irrational.

I don't have closure because you don't know why you don't want to talk about tv shows. You don't have a reason and as stated above, you don't know the reason. That bothers me. That doesn't make me feel complete. Hence I don't have closure.

There is nothing you could do about it then, (save knowing the reason), there is nothing I could do about it either, which is why I agreed to talking later.

I was crying, because of multiple reasons, the dam burst you could say, I can take only so many incomplete conversations, every time you say, you're done with this topic, I do not feel done. I do not feel the closure, I do not feel complete but I desist, because it is a problem for me, and I try to handle it as much as I can, maybe I couldn't handle it as well as I thought and that's why I started crying.

Once again, when we come to my mental health, you did not care to understand, or care to try to understand, you deemed me irrational, deemed me to be emotional because 'it is my time of the month.'

I can not do this again, if you cannot support my mental health in times when I need it, we will need to part ways.

I have only one task tonight and that is to think. To think whether I can live without any mental support, I have considered it in the past, but as events have transpired, I do not believe it would be possible.

When I asked you months ago, what super-power would you choose, you spoke about 'controlling probability of any event', I chose 'to know everything', perhaps now you understand, that this wish or urge of mine is both a dream and my fatal flaw. I have been fighting it hard for the past few years, you would not believe how I inquisitive/nosy, I have been in my life, it has though decreased drastically but I do not have it under control, and in times of stress, it haunts me.

I sincerely hope you can understand this.

Regards, My initials

P.S: I am sorry that I cursed at you and cut the call, the accusation of being irrational or it being that time of the month was too much for me to take at that point. It is even too much right now and it bothers me, I do not understand your reasoning, nor at this point do I wish to, maybe in the future, when I feel a bit better.

P.P.S: You expect me to understand your mental health to the best of my ability, I expect the same from you, I hope this wasn't your best.

She has since then called me and yelled accusations at me of being condescending, she still believes I was being irrational about the earlier event, after another attempted explanation and she wanted a break from me.

I need help with this. Please help.