I’m in an interesting situation and I’m wondering how much pursuing is too much. Also, I’m curious to know more from a man’s perspective (ladies you’re welcome if you have some insights) what you’d be thinking in this situation.

I met a guy online for a FWB situation. He is about 14 years my senior and I was a recent college graduate. I continued the “friendship” for about 10 months or so. In the beginning I do remember our agreement was that it will be FWB and if a relationship naturally forms so be it. But knowing myself to be a romantic and an over thinker, I had to be very very strict with boundaries for myself so i wouldn’t get hurt if he didn’t reciprocate feelings, because eventually i developed some. So i completely put it out of my head that it would move past anything but FWB. Again, we did that for about 10 months and I started to notice that I wanted a relationship and I broke it off because I wasn’t entirely sure where he was plus Im young and in a new city. I wanted to go on regular dates and do what normal couples do.

I got into another relationship and he reached out a couple months later to see how I was and that he was thinking of me. Then a year later I was single again and he reached back out a few months after my breakup (which was horrible btw hurt my esteem) and I told him I wanted a relationship didn’t want the fwb situation anymore. He agreed that that was what he wanted and that he was dropping hints when we were together. I told him I’m still working on my interpersonal skills and that I didn’t know, can’t read minds lol.

So we started dating but I felt like it was eerily similar to the FWB situation from before (we were always at his house) and I started getting worried that I had made a mistake coming back. I wanted it to be official with he and i but that was never made clear to me. I also realize looking back that i was emotional I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was and disappeared on him after about 2 months in. That was about a year ago. Fast forward to present, I got a therapist and worked on myself and realized that I really do care about him. We had great conversations and lots in common. Also I felt for the most part I was safe with him. So I reached back out to him not really knowing what to except and I apologized for ghosting. He seemed to accept me back with open arms. But just like before I don’t know where he stands emotionally. I feel as though whenever i bring it up he tells me that i should know because he left my stuff in the drawer i used and that he dreams of me then changes the topic. I guess not throwing away my things or dreams means he still cares for me? Or is he just stringing me along. Im really bad at hints! I suppose i want a label. Idk if it’s the age difference, cultural difference, or that I’m still trying to understand men but I just don’t feel like its that easy. I want to keep my eyes open. Part of me, expected him to be upset that I ghosted because I know I would have if I were him. But if this relationship does move forward, I’m not sure what I’m in for. Anyway we met up once since getting in contact a week ago. Haven’t heard from him since. Not sure if i should give him space or keep reaching out. Thoughts?