I've been with F(girlfriend) for 4 years now. We've been together since high-school and we love each other so much. 3 years ago I decided to study abroad in the US (we are both from Abu Dhabi, UAE) and so we've been essentially long distance this whole time. To top that off we also have a 9 hour difference so its really hard to stay in touch.

Ever since I started studying abroad problems kept coming every couple of months regarding our communication. She would get really pissed at the fact that I woke up late and didn't put as much effort. Sometimes I was being unfair but i'm an engineering student and i'm constantly busy doing things that i eventually get too tired when she's awake. I still go back home twice a year and we meet up a couple of times.

Bc of our culture we can't date or go out together F's mother is abusive and doesn't even let her go out even if it was with friends. So when we meet we usually wait for her parents to leave then i sneak into her house... sorry for the extra details but i feel like context is important here as we are not a normal couple

for the most part we've been extremely happy, i always felt she loved me and overall we have a very strong bond, but a month ago she asked me for a break for the first time in our relation ever. she said she need to figure something's out and when i asked her wife she said she doesn't feel loved/doesn't know if she has feelings for me anymore.

after a week of our break i texted her sobbing and crying from how much in pain i was and she clarified everything for me. we ended our break for 3 days then went on back. it was almost two weeks and i've handled it pretty well until she texted me and said that she's sure she doesn't have feelings for me. she told me she's realized things that have to do with her trauma with her mother.

she says she doesn't feel normal and i completely feel for her and i've always supported her. i realize that she may be incapable of feeling love or having feelings for me because of this but i love her way too fucking much and i dont even care if she needs even a year...

she said we should giver it another shot(stop our break) and if it doesn't work we should end things. and i just can't. i've built my whole future around her i can't break up we've been talking about marrying for as long as i know and i just can't leave her and i don't know what to do i'm so fucking sad and she feels so bad for how much pain i'm going through. *how can i fix this or keep her by my side without guilt trapping her and doing it in a healthy way... *